


My Boyfriends Aunt

by Bitter_Baristas



Series: Spideypool Oneshots [10]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Bad Puns, Baking, Based on a Tumblr Post, Cute, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Short & Sweet, Some Humor, Tumblr, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug, may and al are friends, may parker is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 12:38:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14425581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bitter_Baristas/pseuds/Bitter_Baristas
Summary: Wade Wilson is an intimidating man. From his height and sturdy build to the bulging hardness of muscle covering every inch of him. He’s a man who people choose, wisely, not to antagonize.Yet beneath the tough exterior, May finds, is a cuddly man-child.She’s surprised and pleased when she sees his name pop up on her phone.May and Wade friendship/family fic.





	My Boyfriends Aunt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Crockzilla](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crockzilla/gifts).



Life with Peter is like a dream come true. It truly is domestic bliss, and Wade doesn’t think he’s ever been so happy. When he met the young superhero a year ago, he’d been instantly hooked on him. He had no idea Peter would reciprocate. He felt like the Gods had smiled upon him when Spider-Man even agreed to _patrol_ with him. And then they start hanging out. Playing video games together, eating food and talking about all sorts of things.

Spider-Man is patient with him. He listens, genuinely enjoying Wade’s rambling in a way no one else ever has. When he laughs it’s not _at_ Wade, rather at some ridiculous story he’s told. And God, his laugh, Wade could listen to it all day. His laugh is like bells ringing, clear and joyous. Wade is proud he can make Spider-Man laugh until he’s wheezing, clutching at his aching sides.

Wade falls in love faster that a stone sinking to the bottom of a pond. Spider-Man is unlike anyone else. He’s _perfect_.

Spider-Man trusts him with his identity and beautiful face. His baby boy. His Petey-pie. Things start hot and heavy and honestly Wade is waiting for the flame to burn itself out. Good things seldom happen to him, and things _staying_ good is even rarer. Peter is young, vibrant and fresh. He has a bright future ahead of him. A future Wade doesn’t see himself in.

He knows he must surely be a fling, and though that breaks his heart he will selfishly cling to Peter until the boy’s interests take him away.

Except Peter doesn’t disappear from his bed the next morning. When sunlight pours in through his bare windows (he broke his blinds and replacing them was an effort too herculean) he wakes up to find he’s not alone. There’s an angel beside him, naked skin glowing in the sunshine.

He lays on his toned stomach, limbs splayed out haphazardly, drooling on Wade’s dirty mattress. Wonder and guilt stab at Wade. Peter is smart and kind and beautiful beyond belief. He doesn’t belong on Wade’s sin stained mattress, the mattress he’s had one night stands and prostitutes on. Peter deserves so much better than Wade can offer.

Peter must feel his gaze on him and he rolls over, snuggling up to Wade as if it was a natural thing to do. The body pressed flush against his own doesn’t recoil from his skin, and Peter’s hand begins to lazily sweep up and down Wade’s stomach.

“G’mornin’.” Peter mumbles, and Wade can feel his residual drool on his shoulder.

“Morning, baby boy. I’m not dreaming, am I?”

Peter’s answer is to pinch his inner thigh. Hard.

“Ow!”

“I guess not,” Peter says playfully, and Wade’s heart sinks.

He doesn’t want this to end.

Months pass. The idea of leaving Wade hasn’t seemed to cross Peter’s mind and Wade lets himself feel cautiously optimistic.

“I want you to meet my aunt.” Peter tells him one day, and Wade feels like he’s been shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun.

“Homeboy say _what_?”

Peter rolls his eyes. “She knows I’m dating someone. I want you to meet her. Please?” He bats his eyelashes and god damn it he _knows_ Wade can’t resist that honey-sweet tone.

“I’m not really the kind of guy you bring home to meet the folks.” Wade points out, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Well, you’re my guy and the folks you should meet.” Peter says, not realizing the effect his declaration has on Wade.

 _My guy_.

Maybe… just maybe, Peter really _is_ in this for the long run.

May is the kind of woman Wade wishes had raised him. Meeting her once makes him realize where Peter gets his heart. She hugs him, doesn’t leap back at the sight of his scars. She’s easy to talk to, just like Peter. He can vomit his heart out to May and she won’t be disgusted by him.

Wade quickly falls in love with her, too. Not in the same way he loves Peter, but in the way he fell in love with Blind Al. May is someone he wants to see movies with, to gossip with. It takes him longer than he’d ever admit to realize he wants to be _friends_ with the woman.

After he and Peter get an apartment together, they see much too much less of May.

Wade should be used to being home alone, but having Peter in his life has made him realize how lonely he’d been. It's agonizing waiting for the young man to get home from work, and he misses seeing May every time he went to visit Peter. 

It takes a week for him to gather the courage to do it, and moments after the phone starts to ring he regrets his decision.

* * *

Wade Wilson is an intimidating man. From his height and sturdy build to the bulging hardness of muscle covering every inch of him. He’s a man who people choose, wisely, not to antagonize.

Yet beneath the tough exterior, May finds, is a cuddly man-child.

She’s surprised and pleased when she sees his name pop up on her phone.

“Hi sweetie, how are you?”

Wade yelps, and she hears his phone clatter to the floor. “Good! Good, how are you?” The words are rushed, frantic, and May laughs.

“What’s on your mind?” She asks, and if their phone had a chord May’s sure he’d be wringing it nervously.

“Uh… are you busy? I’m not bugging you, am I?”

“I’m not doing anything right now, sweetie.” She pointedly ignores the stack of junk mail and bills she’d been sorting through. “So what’s up buttercup?”

A moment of hesitation, and then, “well, I was, uh, wondering if you could teach me how to bake.”

May isn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but it wasn’t that. “Of course,” she hopes she doesn’t sound too eager. “Come on over, honey.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, yes, bring an apron.”

Wade shows up at her doorstep grinning, wearing an apron with the words ‘Trophy Husband’ stitched on it.

“That’s cute,” She says, and Wade’s grin widens.

“Petey got it for me.” He announces proudly, and May’s heart warms.

“Did you have anything in mind,” She searches her cupboards. “I’ve probably got ingredients for… chocolate chip cookies.”

“Ooh, yeah! Let’s make those.”

Wade follows her around like a lost puppy, eager to help. He reminds her of Peter when he was young and her little kitchen helper.

“Okay, spoon the flour in and level it with the flat side of a butter knife. And pack the brown sugar. Good.” Wade does everything she says, and when the cookies are in the oven May fills a kettle with water. “Coffee, tea?”

“Oh, I’ve got a lot of personali- _tea_.” Wade says, settling in a kitchen chair. May blinks, a grin spreading onto her face.

“You’re certainly not _chai_ about it, either.” She holds up a packet of chai tea and shakes it.

It’s then she and Wade silently decide they like one another very much.

They sit, steeping mugs of tea steaming before them.

“So, baking,” May starts conversationally.

Wade nods vigorously. “It’s so boring while Peter’s at work, and I’m not working much anymore. Y’know, with the killing and what not being Petey’s pet peeve. So I decided to be the best little housewife I can be!”

May laughs. “I know the feeling. Things are really quiet without Peter around.”

Guilt falls over Wade’s face and May is quick to reassure him. “I’m happy you two are living together. Peter’s so happy, it’s lovely to see. I just mean it’s different being alone, not bad. Just different.”

Wade nods, and then perks up. “We can hang out while Petey’s at work, sometimes!”

May smiles, “I’d like that.”

Almost every day Wade comes to her apartment. Some days she teaches him how to cook, and some days he just keeps her company. He helps her go shopping and together they binge watch Golden Girls.

Since becoming the single guardian of a child, May hasn’t had time for friends. She’d forgotten how nice it is to have one.

And Wade is a wonderful friend.

Eventually, his and Peter’s life becomes busier and Wade can’t come over often. He introduces her to a charming woman he calls ‘Blind Al’.

They become fast friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Ya'll can blame/thank Tumblr. For Crockzilla. Because... well, really, I just love them.  
> 


End file.
